Why I Built My Life Around Two Icelandic Words: þetta reddast

Iceland wasn't on my radar... but I discovered it, while searching for a sliver of hope to cling to.

I have spent over a decade trying to figure out how to cope with my trauma. Searching for something, anything, that I could grasp onto when I felt like I was drowning. There are so many positive phrases, proverbs, parables, and scriptures that help hold people together – trust me, I know… I have sought them all out. Scouring the internet, looking into philosophies, reading about different religions… There was nothing I found that seemed to settle my soul. I was desperately hunting for just a little thread of hope that maybe, just maybe, it won’t always be this bad.

Then one evening in June 2023, while sitting with my little tribe watching Rainn Wilson’s “The Geography of Bliss”, I found my thread. This show, this episode, seemed to resonate so much with what I had spent years trying to navigate and change, about and within, myself. The episode was based in Iceland, and I felt like I had finally found a group of people who collectively thought like I was striving to. As the show was playing, I kept getting so excited that I had found a people who think like I had been working to change my mindset to be, and what I was desperately trying to help show my family.

Seated on the floor while the rest of the family were sitting on the couch behind me (this is a regular thing – I’ve always preferred the floor for some reason, ever since it was Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers) I kept turning around with such enthusiasm at what I had discovered, only to find my humans staring back at me with confused blinking eyes, and dumbfounded faces in bewilderment that my newly developed monotone personality had just completely flipped into overzealous enthusiasm. They smiled and nodded while I explained my excitement, only for the blank stares to return as they didn’t find my revelation nearly as riveting as I did.

I had found words to voice what had been growing in my soul! One little phrase, that became my mantra, my motto, my calling card… it is who I have become.

In my quest to find some sort of a foundation that I could stand firm on; I stumbled upon a culture shaped by the understanding, that the ground itself may move beneath your feet. A magical land of fire and ice (shifting glaciers and erupting volcanoes) where the weather can not only fluctuate between three different seasons, but all within one hour. It is an island that is alive and ever changing.

This constant volatile change in nature requires flexibility and adaptation. You can plan and prepare all day long, but when the unpredictability of nature laughs in your face, you eventually get the joke. You cannot control what happens. In the show’s episode, the then mayor of Reykjavik, Jón Gnarr, who compared living in Iceland to “being raised by an alcoholic mother; she’s beautiful, but you never know what you’ll get.”

You can prepare for what you can, but the rest is completely out of your hands.

Within that mindset, there is an expression that is so often used in Iceland, that it has almost become the country’s unofficial motto;

 Þetta reddast.

Petta Reddast, pronounced (thet-ta re-dust) is an Icelandic phrase that literally translates from Icelandic to English as: þetta = “this”; and reddast = “to be rescued, fixed, resolved, or sorted out”

But I feel that there is so much more depth and meaning packed into those two little words, that we need to go deeper to fully understand the impact of the phrase.

Þetta reddast might sound like sunshine and rainbows, but you can’t have one part of the culture without understanding all of it. The harsh nature of the island has cultivated adaptability and cooperation. Everyone bands together to ensure a good harvest, or you die together. The extreme environment of Iceland requires you to not only be flexible, but this constant shifting cultivates creativity and innovation. That applies not only to nature, but to everything in life. A pattern began to emerge: prepare, cooperate, adapt, pivot and trust that it will all work out.

That’s when the gravity of what that little phrase held, hit me hard and I came to understand the full depth of its meaning.

The way my brain interpreted that was considerably less poetic: you can give life everything you’ve got and be moldable, or you can remain unyielding, half-arse it and wallow in your own shyte. This concept hit me hard. I love the idea of being responsible for the effort put in, and not for a guaranteed outcome. It has a certain fairness that just made me feel vindicated somehow – as if it confirmed that all my efforts weren’t entirely in vain… Although I could not see the fruits of my labor, it did not mean the seeds were not being planted.

I had learned the hard way, that I can’t control what happens, no matter how hard I try. But I had also come to learn that when what exists no longer works, I have to create a different way. I had come to learn that I could do the best I was able to at the time and broaden my mind, then somehow, it will all work out in the end.

What that meant in my life, was that if I continue in my efforts, think creatively, and do the best I can, then no matter what happens, I have literally done all I can do… and therefore, it will somehow all work out in the end – one way or another. Maybe not the way I envisioned or wanted, but it will still all work out.

Another aspect of this philosophy that surprised me was the contradiction of it all. A culture shaped by an environment that is so difficult to predict, had developed an expression that sounds so remarkably relaxed.

What captivated me was this cultural emphasis on accepting what couldn’t be controlled, adapting to what changes, preparing for what’s possible, and knowing you gave it your all… what else can a person do but enjoy the moment one does have.

It seems harsh realities and unpredictability often teach us what’s outside our control. This feeling of being out of control can be scary and uncertain. But this phrase gave me a safe reassurance that I did my part, what more can I do –but bend to the way the wind blows, and enjoy the moments I do have.

I so badly wanted to be like that! To stop allowing the traumas to affect me in ways that destroyed me as a human. I wanted a steadiness inside my soul that circumstances couldn’t shake or take away. That’s what Þetta reddast did for me. It gave me a voice when I had none and understood my thinking without having to say it in so many words.

Sometimes we spend our whole lives looking for meaning, only to find we just needed the language that finally explains what we’re trying to say, to finally set us at ease.

Þetta reddast isn't the belief that ‘everything will always work out in your favor’. It doesn’t promise that life will be fair, that preparation will prevent loss, or that doing everything right will produce the outcome we want. For me, Þetta reddast is a reassurance that I can prepare. I can adapt. I can recognize what is beyond my control. and in doing what I can with what is available – I loosen my grip on what happens next, and allow challenges to sharpen me instead of destroy me.   

þetta reddast.